My husband worries about me and calls me a hypochondriac because I will take the symptoms that I have and use a symptom checker (Web MD has a great one) and then I will be like….”well…It could be this (maybe hay fever or depression-duh!) or I could have THIS which is probably what it is (Multiple Sclerosis!!!)” (coz I’m a dramatist) No, seriously. that is what it came up with. Now, in all seriousness I know that I don’t have multiple sclerosis, but other possible options were hypothyroidism, etc. Which is totally believable even though I had all my blood work done 6 months ago (including thyroid test) because we were ruling out just that possibility. Continue reading Is it really just psychosomatic?
My horoscope for today: An email from an ex or long lost friend might be tempting you to reconnect and start things up again, but don’t do it! You need to let people from your past stay in your past — at least for now. Too much is going too well for you to toss something like rejuvenating a new relationship into the mix. It could trigger someone’s jealousy or resentment, and you will be inviting drama that simply isn’t necessary. Stick with the people you are currently in sync with.
Yeah, think I might listen.
So often, I have something to say but the words get in the way of my brain and my brain gets in the way of my mouth. Instead what I meant to say comes out as me being selfish and uncaring. Or maybe caring too much about stuff that doesn’t matter and isn’t going to help me get better. I am struggling. I am struggling to see that in the end everything will be OK. Because I don’t know if it will. Continue reading I Am Real?
I am planning on updating the particular entry often, as often as I think of and/or realize how much of “me” is actually me and what is my illness. I think that it will be a long and difficult journey to recovery, but I hope that by separating what behaviors are actually me, and the behaviors that are not I will be able to start to overcome at least some of them. We’ll see. Continue reading Symptoms I Thought Were Just Me Being Crazy..O… Wait, I Am Crazy
One of THE worst things about having bipolar disorder is not knowing, from one day to the next, how you will be. Or more accurately WHO you will be. Having just recently been diagnosed, all the behaviors of the past few years are starting to make sense. The constant mood swings, irritability, being up one day and down the next. I also have recently been diagnosed with Adult ADHD. It is interesting to read some of the information on these two conditions because they have several of the same symptoms. The symptoms of both my mania and ADHD are primarily irritability, inattention, distract-ability, inability to focus, multi-tasking without every getting much of anything accomplished, starting activities/chores/projects and never finishing them. I am doing a little better with my meds, but not nearly as much as I had hoped. I felt better in the beginning but it could have just been that I was coming out of my depression naturally and it just coincided with me starting all my meds. Because now… I don’t really FEEL any better. I’m not depressed so much, I’m not manic so much, but I just feel OFF a lot of the time. And it’s not even “I don’t feel ‘normal’ ” Because for me normal is really really screwed up. I don’t feel BETTER. I still am SUPER irritable, I still can’t focus, I still can’t concentrate, I am inattentive and I can look at someone and hear them speaking but have no idea what they are saying. Continue reading Roller Coaster Ride From Hell
Good afternoon readers! I have started this blog to document my experiences with mental illness. Specifically Bipolar Mood Disorder (Manic Depression), Depression, Anxiety, Personality Disorders, and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I am a member of : Hope Works Community On Yahoo! Pages and Beyond Madness Webring Please check out my other blogs on Blogger and LiveJournal