She’s a brick and i’m drowning slowly

I am extremely frustrated with the health care system here.  I may be just as frustrated with Florida, except we dont’ live there anymore.  We make too much munnies to qualify for regular medicaid but not enough that I have the munnies to buy my meds.  Which is why I’m off my meds.  i never completed that thought in my last post.

So I’m sitting here singing at the top of my lungs and I can’t hear myself.  This is because of good earphones.  and loud music.  I feel like talking but I don’t want anyone to listen because I’m afraid I’m not making any sense.  ANd because I don’t want anything I say to mean anything more than random babbling.

Dammit i actually wanted to write about something but nothing is coming out right.  I’m not leaving my front door.  I feel far too dangerous.  I just got a phone call from the behavioural health clinic that I’m going to be going to.  I have an appointment on Monday.  Of course, it’s not actually for treatment yet, it’s just to see what kind of treatment I want, need, or can get.  I don’t understand why they can’t just see that I need help.  Whatever you can give me.  I’m cracking up.  I feel wonderful, except I don’t.


~ by falloutmommy on February 4, 2011.

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