time flies when you’re sick and psychotic


It’s been a week since I had my sinus surgery… I remember last week being anxious and it seeming to take forever to be Friday… this past week has flown by.  Of course 5 of the 7 days I was on percocet so that could have something to do with it.  Man, that stuff is dangerous.  I don’t understand how people can take that all the time to get high.  Of course, I understand HOW coz the last day or two my pain had subsided considerably and it was doing a little more to me than just killing the pain.  I didn’t like it.  It confirmed to me that I have no desire to ever be a drug addict.  I don’t like feeling out of control of my own body.  It was bad enough the first couple days being knocked out cold by the stuff so I didn’t feel pain.  But to then be awake and loopy… didn’t like it.  It’s been a bad week.  I have been very angry at David for whatever reason.  He says I’m manic but I don’t feel manic.  I actually feel semi-depressed or down.  Yesterday my whole body was slowed down and sluggish.  I laid in bed until about 11:30 because it took too much effort to move.

Took Mom to the airport yesterday so she is back in Cali now.  I am sad, but I don’t feel sad.  If that makes any sense.  I have cried although I feel like I should have.  During hugs and kisses and goodbyes she was crying and I just remember my reaction being “my neck is wet.  I should feel something.”  But I just didn’t.  I felt wet.   And then angry at David.  (but not because my mom was leaving)

I don’t think my new med dosage is working.  If anything I feel worse.  I need to call Dr. G’s office, and I told David I would, I just don’t know if I can.

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~ by falloutmommy on June 4, 2010.

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