It’s been a week since I had my sinus surgery… I remember last week being anxious and it seeming to take forever to be Friday… this past week has flown by. Of course 5 of the 7 days I was on percocet so that could have something to do with it. Man, that stuff is dangerous. I don’t understand how people can take that all the time to get high. Of course, I understand HOW coz the last day or two my pain had subsided considerably and it was doing a little more to me than just killing the pain. I didn’t like it. It confirmed to me that I have no desire to ever be a drug addict. I don’t like feeling out of control of my own body. It was bad enough the first couple days being knocked out cold by the stuff so I didn’t feel pain. But to then be awake and loopy… didn’t like it. It’s been a bad week. I have been very angry at David for whatever reason. He says I’m manic but I don’t feel manic. I actually feel semi-depressed or down. Yesterday my whole body was slowed down and sluggish. I laid in bed until about 11:30 because it took too much effort to move.
Took Mom to the airport yesterday so she is back in Cali now. I am sad, but I don’t feel sad. If that makes any sense. I have cried although I feel like I should have. During hugs and kisses and goodbyes she was crying and I just remember my reaction being “my neck is wet. I should feel something.” But I just didn’t. I felt wet. And then angry at David. (but not because my mom was leaving)
I don’t think my new med dosage is working. If anything I feel worse. I need to call Dr. G’s office, and I told David I would, I just don’t know if I can.