I bought some books. BIpolar workbooks… I don’t know why I didn’t do that in the first place. I got Overcoming BIpolar Disorder, The Bipolar Workbook, and Break the Bipolar Cycle. I have started with Break the Bipolar Cycle and reading through it have come to realize that I really am going through a mixed episode. It explains why I feel restless and irritable and revved up but am still tired and lethargic and have no motivation. I was reading through their description of a mixed episode and a little light bulb clicked on and I went “Ah ha!” I would highly recommend this book to anyone who doesn’t have clear cut textbook mania. It’s really opening my eyes to what is going on with me. It also has a lot of exercises for you to document YOUR symptoms and what you feel, and then also for family/ caregivers to fill out what they observe of your behavior.
One of the things that I really liked is that most of the books and info that I have read just describe mixed episodes as having symptoms of mania and depression… but not specifically what that presents like. This book tells you what typically happens.. and in my case most of it hit the nail on the head.
Anyways, I have some cleaning to do, but just wanted to share my newfound knowledge.