Good morning, dear readers!
I am a bit excited as I got news on Friday that my SSDI hearing has been scheduled for April! This will put my hearing at just 13 months from the start of this whole ordeal. I was starting to get worried that the 18 months that was estimated was going to be 18 months from September when my appeal was filed. So, happy day that it wasn’t. Now, to just get through the hearing.
I am very nervous because while I am happy that it is NOW, I am apprehensive that I won’t get approved. Now, don’t get me wrong… I know that everything that I have experienced in the past year is real. And I fully feel that I could not successfully return to work at this time. I’m not going to say that I’ll NEVER go back to work, I just know I can’t right now. I was thinking about enrolling in some college classes since I’m not working, and even that sent me into a nervous wreck. I hate writing about work or school, I always feel like just thinking about it makes me panicky, forget actually looking for a job or going to an interview.
I reapplied for unemployment about a month ago after talking to my mom about not being able to work because of my disability, but not being ON disability yet. So, I put down that I was available, but only part-time. Well, because I was working full-time before I was denied since I am only available part-time. Which is a crock of bullshit. I worked my time at my last job! Shouldn’t I be able to get compensation from my past wages and not my expected future wages? I get it that I probably wouldn’t get unemployment if I had been working part-time at my last job, but I wasn’t. And the thing that gets me is that the 2 months leading up to my leaving Liberty I was working less than full-time, but was still classified as a full-time employee because there wasn’t a job title available for part-time. I missed so much work in those months being sick. I cut my hours back because of school, and then I got sick the first week of February and was only back like a day and a half before I went into the hospital and never returned to work.
I appealed their decision with the above information listed. That I was going for disability, but could possibly work part-time now and that I was working less hours than full-time leading up to my leaving Liberty. It seems as if they may have taken into account the fact that I left due to disability, but not the fact that I am not presently able to go back to work full-time.
I discovered recently that I could have been working 10-15 hours a week and making less than $500 and it would have not affected my eligibility for SSDI, as long as it was unsuccessful. I wish that I had done that. Almost. I have mixed feelings. When I first got denied and they said it was because I could work fast food I should have gone and gotten a job at McD’s or something just to prove that I can’t handle it. The last time I worked fast food was 10 years ago… and even then it was hard for me. And, besides that, I only worked 1 or 2 days a week when I worked there!
Anyways, I need a nap. I have an appointment with Karlene at 12 and I am exhausted. I have been sick since Saturday and haven’t been sleeping well AT ALL. I’m going to ask her about putting me on a stimulant… preferably nuvigil. I discovered it’s covered by our insurance, and I have coupons for money off for the first couple of months, so I’d basically be getting it for free.