I’m trying something new. After Livewriter ate my blog post I thought maybe I would just send e-mail. Not exactly sure why I didn’t consider this before.
Aside from that I have been having a lot of thoughts that I wanted to blog about but now that I am writing, I don’t really want to write about most of it. I think a lot of it is my late night, I can’t sleep, I’m cleaning the house at 3 am, I’m panicking about Angelina’s therapist coming to the house tomorrow… for the fact that Ang HAS a therapist… and second coz I’m not comfortable with people in my house. Or, at least not people that I don’t know or are there for some purpose besides just hanging out. There are currently about 5 people that I know of that I am not uncomfortable having in my house. Stephen S., Lisa, Stephen G., Crystal, and my mom. There are other people who occasionally come over, but I have to have prior notification and time to prepare (usually while flitting around “cleaning” and really getting nothing accomplished – ‘hey, that’s why I’m doing dishes and laundry at 3 am’) These people include but are not limited to: David’s parents, hmm. Okay maybe it’s just his parents. Or maybe it’s just they’re the only ones who come by. I never know what to do when people come over that don’t “belong” here. It disrupts the natural balance, and I feel uncomfortable most of the time.
Anyway, there I go again going off on tangents. The main thing I wanted to talk about was hallucinations. I need info. I have been hearing voices. Not like one voice telling me to do anything, but senseless chatter. I hear it at random times, regardless of the volume of the room. Has happened when it’s quiet, has happened when I have music on loud. When it first started I kind of brushed it off to being the neighbors outside that I was hearing through the window. That’s what it’s like, hearing something far away that you just can’t quite make out. Or like someone talking in another room with the door closed. I used to look around for a reason like someone talking outside… except it’s quiet outside. And the fact that I heard it tonight while I had earphones in with music blasting in my ears and was doing the dishes. And it was 3 am, I know it wasn’t coming from outside. Not loud enough to go through the window that’s closed, over the dish water I had running, inside my earphones.
The only thing I can think of is that it’s an auditory hallucination. But I don’t really have much experience with that. I know a few of my readers are fellow bipolar sufferers (or some other sort of mental condition in general) So, my question is whether or not you have experienced this, and whether or not it is something I should be worried about. I have been having this issue for a couple of months, but just realized tonight that it might be hallucinations. I don’t remember exactly when it started, but it makes me wonder if it wasn’t the Wellbutrin. I started on it again this week.I know when I first started taking the Wellbutrin and was taking it in the morning and at bed time I was have extremely vivid and realistic dreams, to the point that there were things that I questioned whether they had really happened or not, because they were real to me. That stopped for the most part once I started taking the pills earlier in the day.
So, after writing the last paragraph I realized that I have the internet and reliable medication websites (were used at work, as well as at my Dr’s office) So according to Epocrates hallucinations are a “severe” adverse effect of the Wellbutrin. Want to look into this more and see if any of my other meds have that as well. I usually don’t pay much attention to the “severe” or “rare” side effects because then I start imagining that I have them when I don’t (hypochondriac!) And tend to focus on the common side effects : dizziness, insomnia, hypersomnia, drowsiness, don’t use heavy machinery, etc. May have to give Dr. Asshole a phone call since I don’t have a new pdoc yet. Ugh. He’s probably gonna tell me that it’s nothing and I’m doing it to myself. Don’t want to worry David too much coz I don’t even know if it IS a hallucination. Bleh. Anyways… I think I’m done for right now.