Bummed

I just Googled ‘RainyDayRamblings’ and as it turns out someone registered rainydayramblings.com, and it isn’t me!  I knew I should have registered that domain when I started this blog, but alas it is too late now.  What is even more of a bummer is that the site is a blog and the blog has and astronomically greater number of followers and more hits than I do here.  I doubt it’s because of the domain name though.  It just makes me sad that someone took my blog title and made it more successful than I have.  My first blog was called Rainy Day Ramblings and it was started in 2007 over on Blogger.  If you haven’t been over there it is pretty interesting stuff that I wrote prior to my bipolar diagnosis the beginning of 2009.  The URL is rainydayrants.blogspot.com

Time

It’s been almost a year since my last post here.  It feels like incredibly too long.  However, while I am a bit disappointed in myself for not keeping up with something that was very important to me not so long ago, I am okay with letting this blog fall into decline.  The reason?  I’ve been okay.  Except I am starting to realize that I really haven’t.  Sure, I haven’t been obviously episodic, but I’ve become a hermit.  That’s not exactly true, of course, but close enough.  I don’t really have any meaningful interaction with real people except my husband and daughter.  I’ve taken to referring to myself as a shut-in, but that isn’t entirely accurate either.  I still leave the house.  I still run errands and chat up the grocery store clerk.  I go to counseling (almost) every week.  That’s really it, though.

I’m happy.  And that makes me feel incredibly pathetic.  I’m happy because I am hiding from the world.  My “human” interaction consists of debating with people on the internet.  My life has been reduced to what forum topics are happening that day and whether or not it’s something I can discuss with my husband.  I do have to say that I am better informed now than probably any point in my life about what’s going on in the world, specifically regarding America’s political climate.

About a year ago I decided I wanted to have another child after over 8 years of insisting that the one kid was quite enough, thank you.  But I had this yearning.